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My schedule doesn’t allow much wiggle room. I have to run my life like a tight ship to fit everything I need to into the day. I watch porn for ten to twelve hours, eat...

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My schedule doesn’t allow much wiggle room. I have to run my life like a tight ship to fit everything I need to into the day. I watch porn for ten to twelve hours, eat, write these articles for an hour or two, and then I have to hit the hay. Masturbation burns a ton of calories. I’m basically a fucking marathon runner. That means I can’t survive on the regular seven or eight hours of sleep a night and need between nine and eleven, depending on how many loads I spilled the day prior.